Went to hospital with mom today..did all the check ups..
Tomorrow going back for surgery...was told by the doc that its going to be quite a serious one..don't feel so good after hearing..

Mom need to be hospitalised for 3-5 days, i gotta work for the 5 days...
can't even accompany her...i know she's scared..but she pretend she issn't...
I wish i could do something for her..but the fact is i can't and there's no one i can turn to..except for her colleagues.

Suddenly i feel that its not possible for me to be away for a few years studying...
Hai..why is it that my burden are so heavy...why is it that there's no one to share my burden...human are selfish...by nature, not even your loved ones or 'assumingly loved ones' can take on and share my worries...

All i get was lie after lie, its deja vu again.
Nothing to gain, nothing to talk to me about...

one after one...am i only worthy when my help is needed?

I should have known better...