Thinking through all these while, i work so hard in school and at work, its a short 6months only and so many things happened...

I tried to do my best at work..so pressurised everyday...always trying to challenge not only myself but also the clock. Keep looking at the clock hand, trying to challenge time and synchronise all my things perfectly, and yes...i have done that...i have gain the respect from all my colleagues...imagine your chef tells you to teach a CDP and two other trainee how to work better...it really give me the confidence and i can see where i stand...even though i'm being paid even lesser than the two Shatec trainees in my kitchen, but at least my chef can pat me on the back and trust that i can assist in every aspect of the operation in the kitchen..from dishwashing to cutting bread and arranging napkins, from making desserts to doing homdmade pasta, from doing salads to setting up all stations...

Then i realise its going to be over soon...i'm leaving in less than a month's time...
Deja Vu...
All my efforts in proving myself...proving to people...

Work so hard in York's WRC, from trainee to 3rd commis to 2nd commis in less than a year time...
from chinese kitchen to western kitchen to local food to garde manger to pantry to pastry, even contemplating on trying out butchery...

Everytime i feel that i'm slipping into comfort zone, i force myself out...
I got to stand up, fight and prove myself to people again...

I've got 6 more months of school to go, many more months of fighting to do, i really should stand up and be the real me.

Its stupid to give up my future, my career, my happiness and keep torturing myself because someone don't cherish and don't realise how much i care and love her...

Its her loss...i shall take back everything from today!

Its easier to make myself happy than to make other people happy issn't it?