Day 1 of Realisation:
I went to work in the morning feeling uncomfortable,
gastric so bad that i vomit nothing but acid from my tummy i guess, given the sour after taste in my mouth.
During work, i got scolded by chef, the words were straight and sharp and pierce right through me. "Eugene, you are getting more and more fucked up in your work lately"
After service, during break, i ate only abit of lunch and thats all i had for the whole day. I really can't control and hid in one corner of the room and cried. Chef happen to see and ask me into his office. He said he understand because he has gone through that stage of life. He ask me to leave and to return only on wed. So i pack up and go.

I know i'm stupid but i miss W so much, i went to find W as she finish work at 5pm. Send W home to pack her luggage as she's leaving for a short holiday in Genting. Stayed with W till she leave. It hurts so much to see another guy come pick up your love one right at her house. We just ended and you are going for a holiday,and got a guy to pick you up and leave for Genting with you and him right in front of me. It hurts to see you leave in his car w/o even looking back at me. I was still helping to put the luggage into the boot and you went straight for the car w/o even wanting to say good bye. Even the hug that i requested made me feel like an idiot.

I really feel like shit! Thrown all my dignity out of myself already and you still treat me like that. After i talk so much, did so much, you didn't care and don't appreciate any at all.

Nevertheless i respect your decision and trust you. I just want to put down the unhappiness and start afresh.

End of Realisation.