Been over a week since i posted anything..busy week!
Put in a lot of effort in preparation for 23rd competition.
Extremely disappointed that i ended up empty handed.
But that's life..?! What else can i say but bad luck?
No more lame excuses, fact is maybe i just ain't good enough...

Nevertheless its a good lesson learnt and i believe in what i do.
It gives me the confidence that i can stand up there with the rest of the lads..

Went for a radio interview with 91.3 Live on the 22nd july...
LOL i listen to myself on radio for the replay and its pretty amazing to hear myself on radio...
Haha..nice voice i think! =x

And for the first time in almost a year...I skip school yesterday!
Just don't feel like going to school...
Put in real effort, always punctual, or i should say always early!
Tried my best and all certain people have to do is to put in the "surface" work and all my effort gone to waste..i don't mind not being appreciated but to see other gloat about whatever they did and claim credit for my effort just pissed me off so much..
And i end up being the one perceived as NOT putting in EFFORT?

Tomorrow i took leave...under so much disillusion that i think i need some time to recover from the harshness of life!
The reality of life...

Whatever it is, past is past...
Lesson learnt and experience gained...

I rather have a friend than to make an enemy.
Full stop. No question about it.
Keeping quiet doesn't mean I'm not retaliating but just that i hope to maintain the fragile difference between a harmonious or a wrecked friendship.

This coming Monday i took up a photo shoot with WDA to do a poster..
Something to do with promoting tourism careers...
Just popping up as one of the background extras...
Haha...looking forward to Monday not for the shoot but for U to return from land of kiwis!



out of the blue..nicely grilled steak! lol!

Slept at 4.30am last night and woke up by 7am this morning..
Not that i'm not tired but i just can't get to sleep..
To say i don't mind is totally cheating myself..
I don't want to self-decieved...
But i think the future is more important than the past...
And as long as i can see what i want to see..
I believe that will give me the confidence to go on...

Haven't really sleep well and competition is coming..
Was in school today...its a terrible day!
From morning till evening was so f* up...
Now i'm changing my sauce again..
Tomorrow will have to do again a proper one after school..

Spend $86 on 2 plates..made in Korea..
Fine China with Titanium Rim...
Retain heat well...

Till date i think i spend a month's pay on this competition liao...
I know this competition should be on top of my priority list right now!
But i guess if friends knows me well...
I haven't really been very focused on what I should be doing!

I hope heaven knows how much effort i've put in..
I believe all I need now is a little more luck..
Just a little please...

Went to school for home coming..got recognition again!
Third recognition card in three terms...damn the stupid ninja for embarassing me in front of the 2 new batches of students...LOL moreover the pretty girl is directly infront of me in the second row...make my heart beat so fast!

And as usual, after every homecoming..there bound to be something interesting to talk about for the term...Coffee presentation is good...At least my opinion of Martin improved already...He bragged a lot, but he DO delivery the goods sometime..
Hopefully he can deliver the half a carcass of cow next month!
Looking forward to that!

Back to competition, cooked for chefs in school and recieved a couple of comments..
Some say good, some say not good...
I tried to see the glass as half full and decipher why the good and no good came about...
Good is good but it is not enough! Must be better than good!
Here comes explaination why the not good came about...
Cause they believe i can do much better (or so i hope) lol decieving myself! zbzq

Seriously for all the efforts and monies i put in..i really hope to achieve something out of it...Master chef once said..to go with ZERO expectation..
But seriously who is he trying to kid? If he got no aspiration he wouldn't have been where he is now..

With aspiration comes expectation,
With expectation deserves recognition,
With recognition gives reputation,
With reputation command respect!

Didn't really sleep much the last night, was super tired at this morning lesson...
Spent the entire day in school too..
Whipped up my dish for my chefs to try...
Wilson and Dean didn't really like my dish and came up with lots of idea for modification...
I really seriously doubt whether i should follow?
Come on...add thai red curry to replace my rempah?
Add pineapple to the rice and make it like pineapple rice?
Dean say my dish have no characteristic...so adding thai influence bring out the characteristic ya? Yes thai characteristic! but does it still look local to you?
The theme is local! SINGAPORE! But as it seems...i don't understand i really don't understand!




I'm so confused...i don't want to change dramatically from my original idea.
But it seems like not much people appreciate the simplicity of flavour...
Why make food so complex?
I think food should be as natural as it can get...

Bad day..and bad news...off she goes to ISTANBUL! 8 days...

12 more days and i've got no concrete plan! No plates! No!

Guess what...i meet meow on the road twice in two days.
Both occasion on same stretch of road at around the same time.
Both of us took the same road to work everyday and i never see him before until Sunday, and i saw him again yesterday.

Small world indeed...

Last night something happened, i don't know what to say or how to react.
Its so ironic that i have so much up in my mind but...
turn out to be totally speechless when i want to speak out.

Today I was quite happy for awhile at work. One of my sous chef came to me and had a small chat with me. Its always nice to have praise from people whom you respect.
And he spoke to me about making plans for my future. About my future as a chef.

And finally its off day tomorrow...and so coincidentally the briefing I've been waiting for took place tomorrow! Damn! Why not on my work day?

I don't know if its the weather or what...
Been suffering from blocked nose these days..
Its really irritating, i need my nose to work...
It could be due to lack of sleep lately...
Ya no doubt i've been missing her a lot lately...

Imagine i reach home at between 3.30am to 4am..
And i woke up from shock at 7am in the morning..
believe me its not a very pleasant way to wake up in the morning breaking out in cold sweat for no reason...it happened all too often on me and i've absolutely no idea why..i don't think its due to stress because i'm working in a stress free environment and i've never ever worry about my school performance or even my future as i know as long as you have a plan ahead, you will not get lost.

The competition issn't stressing me out also because when you bring zero expectation, you have zero stress...i admit its always nice to daydream a little but fact is i know where i stand..i've absolutely zero backing so god knows how this industry operate as in every industry works the same way!

You need affiliation to get things going for ya and i have none!

Humble is good. Acting to be is tantamount to being a hypocritical arse!

I did something amazingly stupid 30 mins ago...
I GOOGLED my name together with the word 'chef' and it really pop up a valid return on sff webby...

So can i consider that my first milestone of my life?
Damn bullshit ya? Too bored...nothing better to do..

Was thinking about how i've progress over the past 2 years...
I think i'm quite a cook but i can be really really inconsistent.
I allow myself to drift too much, and i listen to people's opinion too much.
I tend to think too much into the finer details that i forgot the joy of cooking.
Maybe its peer pressure, maybe its the ambition to be better than the rest.
Studied too much into the changes as temperature rises and things as such that you start losing that joy...

DJ told me today how nice I am..I really wonder am I?
I don't think so, I totally don't think so...I think I'm really F up at times..
Maybe I'm too easy going that's why I get taken for a ride too often lately?
I don't know why? Why the change? People really do change maybe?
I'm a walking example ya? Maybe its karma? For being such an asshole during my younger days...

As people always say, its lonely at the top. BUT its so CROWDED at the bottom.
I hate to crowd together, haha i like my own comfy zone, big enough to have some freedom.

Successful people are those who are not afraid of failure?
So since i failed so many times...am i going to be successful?
LOL damn shit damn lame today..

Wow i spend another $220 in 2 days..
I bought a Philips Blender that can make smoothie at NTUC in AMK hub yesterday.
Today i was so pissed trying to find a nice suitable plate...
actually i have what i wanted in mind..but just couldn't find the one with right size...saw one at metro centerpoint with the right size but it cost $42 per plate.
I have to get 2 plates so i decide it's totally not worth it.

I went sia huat, Takashimaya, Spotlight, metro, robinson, john little blah blah blah..was so pissed that i had to return empty handed so i bought something at takashimaya for $140 haha...

Cast Iron Griddle Pan~!

Had dinner at vivocity's Carnivore...Lotsa meat...
Lamb shoulder, pork shoulder, pork sausages, beef rump, beef hump, chicken drumstick, chicken breast wrap in bacon, butter fish blah blah blah...of all those meats i had, the only one i'm impressed with is the beef hump, its a cut of meat from the neck and slow roast for 5 hours..the result is a flavourful chuck of meat so tender that it almost melts in your mouth...Other than the pork sausage which is heavily flavoured with rosemary..the rest of the meats ain't really very well marinated...

Nothing much to rave about with regards to the side dishes..too common too simple...
The apple soda from brazil is a refreshing green apple soda, similar to zapple.
And the much anticipated roast pineapple is simple but nice!

So tired from the running about the whole day...morning bak ku teh with RC was not too bad but can be better, maybe can give them one more chance in the near future...

Afternoon bike lesson was really enjoyable but the weather really killing me...
The instructor was friendly and nice, the lesson itself was about slope, crank and figure of 8 so its nice playing with cornering when we can't even co-ordinate the eye-hand-feet and the gear change, signals and such..everyone of us look like a dumb ass...

Luckily there wasn't any incident...

I ask myself a hypothesis question...
What if and what if not?
If it is then can i accept the fact? the history? the difference?
If it is not then why am i still loithering around? procrastinating and preventing changes that i could have done.

Think too much.
Doesn't help at all.
Only bring out more complex situations.

Time to hit the sack.

Went for the sff compy for media preview this morning..
Pretty disappointing..shit happens, but why on me?
okie ya i deserve it for changing my idea at the very last minute..
wilson said i should have choose the first initial idea of a safe approach.
but what to do when Chef Nobu, Chef Andreas and Chef Khiang all tell me to change it the other way round..and amazingly all three mentioned similar things, so i was like okay, 2 executive chefs and one sous chef? Their exposure and idea must be much better than a first timer ya? But i didn't realise i do not have the correct equipment to use for plating and it all cocked up, my lobster head fell off while i was transporting the plate. Gone case, since I'm one of the first to bring up, every one is armed with their camera le...Really LPPL, so disastrous on my first experience ya?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?
I'll make sure i'll come back stronger!