Too much spare time on hand lately...wonderful...
Can't really remember when was the last time i get to have such freedom consecutively every week.
Been sleeping a lot the past few days...Man i love this life.
No more having to rush, no more multi tasking, no more scolding, no more cursing and swearing at everything that goes wrong.

I guess it's just me who got a whole new way of understanding my life.

Why bother too much outside of what I should really care about.
And care too less for what I should be spending more time on.

Nothing beats a good jar of freshly brewed french press, daily newpaper and my comfy armchair. Beauty in simplicity.

I was just emotionally unbalanced...thinking too much I guess...
Thats what happen when you are trap in four walls with no one to talk to!
I have a great relationship going on, great job, a good pay, good friends all around, my beloved dogs that always greet me when I return home from work...
What else can i ask for? Maybe relationship with my family could have been better?
Imperfection makes life real anyway..

Maybe its just human greed...maybe its just what this society preach!
Power struggle? Maybe its just because boys will always be boys..
Boys hate losing...maybe?

Satisfaction in life?

What is it?
Family
Friends
Love
Work
Hobbies

Our minds are so complicated...I can't feel any satisfaction.
I don't understand why I try so hard...Its getting numb.

I actually spend sometime looking at my blog and I realise something...
Its mostly if not all about work work work..
Today I was quite unhappy the moment I arrive at work, during line-up..Chef Eugene and Kelvin saw the expression on my face. They knew I wasn't myself.
男人不是为钱就是为情。

Haha...I reflect upon myself, and I'm truly ashamed to say I really have been missing out on life most important purpose! Had a disagreement with Wen...I have to say I really did not spend enough time doing what i should have. As a boyfriend, I really disappoint, our conversation have been all about work work work, what i does at work, what she does at work, seldom about anything else. I guess i'll never find another girl who can only see her boyfriend twice a month, not because of distance or whatsoever but because of work. Only went to the movie once a month. Its not so much about climbing up the corporate ladder or becoming who you want to become. Having said that, I believe I have surpassed lots of expectation to get to where I am. "Its not about position, its about ability" someone told me that. But maybe I'm too focused! sometime just that over zealous to get to where I want to get to without realising the simplest thing in life.
忧深思远。不切实际。

It's a year since i left BPS and last Sat i went back to visit them then i realised for the whole year since i left, i only see them for the third time. 2 years since i left York and i only went back 2 times for the past 12 months. None for SATS. Only 2-3 phone calls and that's it. Each time with an agenda. My 2 buddies, i doubt i have more than 10 meals with them for the past year. Talk about that, I can't remember the last time I actually went out with SJ,Ling and the rest. What am i becoming? That's insane! I guess I've read more culinary magazines for the past year than I've read FHM for the past 6-7 years..LOL! And I've just spend $300 on amazon for cookbooks...I guess that pipped the $220 i paid for the previous time i went on amazon to shop for books. I guess the amount will only get higher...I'm so tempted to get that FAT DUCK BOOK! Lets just keep that amount xxx.
Re watched an old flick yesterday, and there's this sentence that goes
己能尽如人意，但求无愧于心。
At work, yes i did it.
But off work, what have i got? Mentally and physically exhausted.
尽力了，但得到的是无奈的冷清。

Its been one month and 2 days since i started work at Capella.
Tiring..I can't find any words to describe how i feel.
Its a big family. Its a good team we have there, i like them.
Been putting in long hours...
Work start from 8am in the morning till almost 12am midnight...
Been working those hours a couple of days a week and i already feel so tired.
I can't imagine how both my chefs came in earlier than me everyday and we leave at the same time...Really have to give them the due respect!
So so so unlike MFLG, where max come in later and leave earlier,
talk about MFLG, damn pathetic to deny me what i was due. Shame!


Must be wondering what i'm still doing at 2am in the morning..
Yup just finish checking up several recipe, gonna try out new stuff tomorrow..
Tired..but happily tired!