Talking about taking a break...
I saw my roster for next week..i really give up!

for these 2 weeks i get 'midnight, off, full-shift' pattern.
Layman terms, midnight eats into the next day off! which already pisses me.
And following day 9am work till almost 11pm! i got like exactly 24hrs off! what the fuck!

Best thing to follow up...after my friday midnight shift and sat off. Sunday i gotta 9am - 11pm shift..whats in next is 7 days of midnight again! so where is the 5 days week? 44 hrs work week? hmm..its just 66.5hrs only anyway...so mcuh for
PASSION!!

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Hi 'dear boss'

bloody hell do i look like a machine to you? Have you wonder what the fuck you are doing to my life and my bodyclock? You think its fucking funny planning a shift like that for me? try living my life and take the mickey onto yourself. kns i only talk to waitress you say i flirting around in the kitchen. you don't even give me my life and now you don't let me talk to anyone is it? midnight shift all the way so i can talk to myself in the mirror and flirt with myself right?

yours truly,
fucking pissed machine.

ps..KNNCCB :p

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okie i'm a little emotionally on the black side so this is just purely to balance my mentally disturbed mind. Those who know my boss and whom happen to be reading this.
pls stfu.
thanks in advance.



And talk about how rumours spread..a few days back i just mention that i'm damn sian..wanna look at other jobs vacancy elsewhere..and suddenly everyone started coming to me and asking when is your last day..roflol wth?

Okay next to the topic of random girl,
E is over and out. admitted that i was just about to do stupid things but i'm glad it didn't really sink in. Met her for dinner just now and it affirmed myself that its totally not there. but never say never cos she asked me to be her partner for one of her gf's wedding. and i commented she could have gotta someone else, and her reply as yet again was halfway here halfway there. and so i'll be there with her, sitting with her clique of good friends whom i already knew...and its gonna be a 'malu' night for me.

still on the topic of random girl..here comes R, whom was rather sudden but interesting anyway...shall get on to more of it when she return from her taiwan trip next sat...

Been too preoccupied with work that even when i'm sleeping i dream of it...
Can't sleep well these days..in my mind its all work, work, work..
Sleep, work, sleep, work. I hate this life...

Maybe at times i'm too fast to judge, got it wrong too many times...i see the reaction of you my friend, i see it in your eyes...i know what you are thinking and i remember what happened way back. I never forget. I know at times we were not that closely connected..its all due to individual commitment, and i can assure we'll be as close as we were,always will..no matter how often we catch up...i appreciate all the efforts that you guys made when i was down, that you never failed to be there.

The very fact that i'm still all by myself prove that i treasure opinions. Esp people whom i know care for me..Like i always said..nothing is more impt to me than making a career out of my choice. there's only one life and its a life that i've failed too many times...the only positive is i've learned to take it in my stride.

Its a bumpy ride thus far...how long more till i find my way? i'm tired, i just want to take a break.

""during poly when i noe u
i feel the way u treat xxxxxx
is nice
chuan yi
most impt thing is chuan yi n honesty
though u might go ard n noe other gals
but i doubt is when u hav a gf
another thing which i see gd from u is
xxxxx
she got prob wif her family

but u have the initiative to bring her hm n acc her wif her family
at least i can see dat u dun only concern abt urself
so dat is another gd point
another one is.. u alwaz give ppl chance
like xxxxx

she did wrong once
but u can forgive her..
another impt n gd thing is.. u noe wat u wan for ur future..""

so what the f*** is wrong with me?
i got very limited freedom?
i got very bad temper?
i'm very egoistic?
i'm very restrictive?
i'm not without flaws,i'm full of it!
But ain't everyone as perfect as they made themselves to be?
or am i just a f***ing muppet that people toy with?
I'm so sick and tired of being a f***ing muppet!

""i see the same things too many times on u""

I also see the same things happening to me again and again..
I myself know! But ain't we all hoping 下一个她不一样？代价是？
No one knows..幸福还是傻瓜..only time will tell.
And yes i spend 9 years of my life being 傻瓜.
LOL to be exact its "DEY SHAGUA~!!"

When you get what you want but not what you need?
Could it be worse?
But if you never try, you never know.
Just whats you're worth...

Back from China trip..this time wasn't as enjoyable as the previous one..
Somehow holidaying and relaxing wasn't the agenda on my mind.
Wanted so much to be back in SG, funny as it may seems.. But i'm not the only one..maybe people don't meant what they say but i took them at face value for their words.

Realising that i wasn't as much valued just made me look stupid, dumb!
3 times in a week i was at the cruel, hilarious end of unintentional acts.
I can understand the frustration and behaviour of certain people.
But I can never understand....i know its one call away, one question apart from getting my answer. But can it be that simple? Do i have the strength to bear the consequences of my imprudence?

Some people just have it easier than the others..I never regret the path i choose but is it going to haunt me for as long as I'm strolling along this path?