Finally you open up and told me that its over.
You keep dragging and dragging for a month already.
I told myself to be prepared.
But when the time really came, i'm still shattered.

Just because these few months haven't really been smooth sailing,
is it enough to end it?
The love that you had for me is so weak that it can't withstand these?

Now that you got yourself a dream job, you want to give me up and concentrate on it?
What a great reason..
Still young,
not ready,
can't commit,
want to concentrate on new job,
no feeling anymore,
really the case? :)

These few days have been really shitty...
I kept wondering why things turn out so bad.
Am i really so bad??? I can't believe it.


Cut myself at work again...this time round its not a deep cut but one tiny bit of flesh came off, bleed till my face turn pale, lips turn white, but work goes on.

I'm home..earlier than usual. But its not good.
Had a really bad day at work.
I reach workplace very very early today, end up waited for more than half an hour.
Turn out that yesterday restuarant close, and the power box tripped.
This morning can't open the automatated door cause there was no electricity and the backdoor was locked from the inside. We waited till the electrician arrived before we can get into the kitchen to start work, then we realise all the food have spoilt, got to rush out all the misc en place for lunch in 2 hours, rush like mad and today lunch turn out to be quite busy. Needless to say, Chief's temper was flaring and i'm mostly at the recieving end...
After lunch service end, i rush back to school for 2hours and back to work again.
After finish setting up for dinner, my mind was totally switched off...kanna !@#$%^ again and was told to leave.

REally really bad day for me...rush here and there, do so much, all for what?

So many things have happen over the past week.
Its quite devastating when you realise things ain't the way you see it to be.
I'm very lost at the moment...can't map out things ahead.
Was really looking forward to a well deserved break this week..but i ended up losing more sleep than usual...guess this is life...things happen when you least expect it to...

I still trying to come to term with all the changes that have taken place, realising how vulnerable and precarious this relationship can be...